There are a few things that'll ruin your wedding. We all know the big ones - the things that’ll absolutely ruin your wedding like the groom not showing up or someone hooking up with the best man. These are “weddings gone wrong” that movies are made about. And I am not talking about things outside of your control like weather. But what about the subtle things like pushy parents, planning, and vendors not following your instructions. What are the things that you can avoid by simply knowing they could be an issue?
1. Let’s start at the top with pushy parents. The mother of the bride can be a handful for everyone. But now and again it’s father of the groom or both sets of parents. If you are constantly thinking, “my mom won’t agree to . . . “ then that’s your red flag. Stop what your doing. Sit with mom & set boundaries. Reasonable adults will have already set appropriate boundaries with their loved ones. There’s a reason they are called “helicopter parents.” It’s because they hover around and make a mess of everything. Better have THAT talk with them now. Otherwise it’s going to get worse. And spill out all over you and your wedding.
2. Planning your wedding. You’ve dreamed of the day. You’ve seen the highlights in your head a shugabillion times. You can see the dress. You can see your prince charming standing at the altar; teary-eyed and ready to sweep you off your feet and kiss, kiss, kiss you until the lights fade. But you really have no idea how to plan a wedding. You don’t know what a wedding day timeline looks like. You have no idea it’ll take an hour and half to do your hair & make up – if you’re lucky & you hire a pro. You don’t know how to order catering. You don’t know how to compare florists. You’ve pinned 13.7k pins on Pinterest, but you have no idea what went on to make those photos. Better hire a planner – a good one. With references. With lots of experience. One that has contingency plans. If you are stressed planning your wedding then you need a planner. They don’t stress. They got this.
3. Wedding professionals (vendors) not following your plan and your instruction occur at too many weddings. A planner can help, but even then, you need to be clear (and use a contract to set the boundaries) and make sure each vendor knows what is critical and sensitive to his or her success. This leads to a more successful wedding. I once saw a minister be defiant at the beginning of a wedding. The couple asked him to ask the guests to not take photos during the ceremony. He agreed. He even rehearsed it. Then when it was time, he refused. He even shouted at the planner when she asked if he wanted her to make the announcement. He shouted, “This is MY wedding! I am in charge! And we will do this MY way or I’ll make a scene!” The planner turned at looked at the seated guests and said, “I think you already made a scene.” Then he promptly announced that weddings were a celebration that should be photographed and everyone was encouraged to take as many photos as they like. Every shot I took had someone with a camera in it. Some of the guests took it as invitation from the couple. One guest held his video camera over the minister’s bible and filmed the vows. The bride & groom were furious. Luckily, the planner snuck out just after the minister made his scene & shared this with the groom. But the bride is still upset when she looks at her wedding photos. Better set clear boundaries with your vendors.
Pushy parents, not fully understanding planning a wedding, and vendors not following your instructions are easy red flags to spot. And if you can see the accident you’ll avoid it.
Next week we’ll complete this list by discussing inappropriate toasts, trashy dates and selfish guests. As always, we are working hard to be the best Fine Art Wedding Photographer on the planet. Call, email, text or skywrite today and mention this blog and we'll extend you a 15% discount on any of our wedding photography packages. And what we offer is no part of the few things that'll ruin your wedding.